So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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