I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
