sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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