whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
