It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
