we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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