this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You made out with two different species that night
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
