My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
