I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
