I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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