They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
