What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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