yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
