I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
