the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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