She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
