Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
