Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
