Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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