Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
