I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
