I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
