therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
