Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
