Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
