Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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