Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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