I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
