Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My penis needs a shock collar
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
