i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
