You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
