Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
