State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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