wakey wakey hands off snakey
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
