there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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