My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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