Jerry, you need to find god
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
