yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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