508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
