i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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