was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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