you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
