Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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