is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
