he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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