Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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