Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
