____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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