Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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