I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
