He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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