Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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