So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
