So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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