I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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