I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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