The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
