At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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