is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
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I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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