i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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