I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
