Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
