we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
