it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you win again, gameday.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
