You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
