Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
