Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
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Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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