is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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