He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize